Double, Double Naruto Trouble!
by crazy novelist-san
Summary: 1 Naruto is trouble enough. What if there were 2? What if Sasuke was back and Itachi and Orochimaru were dead? What if 1 of those Naruto’s was actually the Kyuubi? What if next to no one knew? What if the Kyuubi was unused to having hormones? KyuuSasuNaru
1. I'm Seeing Double!

**Double, Double Naruto Trouble!  
****By: Shozetsku  
****Disclaimer/Warnings/Summary/Authoress Notes:**

-Not mine, just an unhealthy obsession. And even then, I think it comes from one of my many mental voices. So, it's still not mine. (I don't want to repeat myself so this disclaimer goes for the whole fic.)

-Yaoi coming soon, cursing coming soon, OOC-ness here, slightly lude humor here, some use of romaji, and an over use of the meanings of people's names. (SOME-one has trouble with names)

-1 Naruto is trouble enough. What if there were 2? What if Sasuke was back and Itachi and Orochimaru were dead? What if 1 of those Naruto's was actually the Kyuubi? What if next to no one knew? What if the Kyuubi was unused to having hormones? KyuuSasuNaru

-this will be a slightly drawn out threesome. The rating is high right off the bat because of this. Nothing much to warn against here though. Just a dirty joke I don't think you'll get.** If you can guess the joke I'll dedicate the next chapter to you.**

**Chapter 1:** I'm seeing Double!

Tsunade rubbed her first two fingers slowly in circles around her temples, "How exactly did this happen again?" What a migraine! There were two Naruto's in front of her right now, sitting in hospital beds, bandaged, beaten up, but otherwise fine.

"What? Again! We must've told this damn story like twelve times already!" the blonde Naruto whined loudly, throwing his hands up in the air in annoyance and flopping back against his pillows.

"Patience Kit." said the reddish blonde Naruto, "This is a very unique situation. Let's start at the beginning... And maybe we should go a little slower this time." he added as a bit of an afterthought.

"How can you be so calm?" the blonde Naruto shouted sitting up in his own hospital bed, staring at the red Naruto incredulously.

The red Naruto sighed, "What can I do to change this situation?" he asked, lethargy heavily lacing his every word. "Nothing." he answered himself. "Will panicking change anything? No. So why waste the energy?" he asked the blonde Naruto with a shrug.

The blonde Naruto threw himself against the pillows yet again. "Whatever." he said at length, "Alright, at the beginning, I was trying to save Sakura and the others." the blonde began.

"And I wanted to kill that weasel because he was trying to kill me. " the redhead interjected.

"He just wanted your power, he didn't want to kill you." the blonde Naruto said turning away from Tsunade to look at the red Naruto confusedly.

"Worse then," the red Naruto said with another shrug. "I become their slave. Not an appealing prospect. So, as I was saying, I was trying to kill him."

The blonde Naruto continued their story, "Then Sasuke, Kabuto, and Orochimaru showed up too and we both just went absolutely postal. I wanted to save everyone and then kill Orochimaru."

"And I wanted to kill the weasel and that shark thing. And then kill the other two." the red Naruto said offhandedly, as if he were discussing the weather. Mental note, the Kyuubi seemed to be very fond of killing, or possibly just desensitized.

"And there was this weird mental tug of war thing that happened; it was kind of like I was running in one direction, flat out, and Kyuubi was running the exact opposite direction while having a death grip on some small part of me." Naruto said miming pulling a rope tightly with both hands, to better illustrate what words didn't seem to express properly.

"If I hadn't held on to that part of Naruto we would both be dead by now." the red Naruto cut in.

"And finally I felt something... Almost literally sort of, tear and I ran to save everyone." the blonde Naruto said with a note of wonder in his voice.

"And I decided to kill the snake thing and that white haired weirdo first, so the younger Uchiha could get an opportunity to kill his brother. And our unexpected separation caused a split second's hesitation in his brother. And the older fan died." the red Naruto commented, still completely cool.

"Everyone is alive at the very least." the blonde Naruto said in a happy relieved voice.

"Except for the weasel, the fish, the snake, and the beetle." interjected the red Naruto, counting off the animals on his fingers; he seemed to have trouble with names.

"And now there are two of us." the blonde Naruto said, gesturing to the other Naruto.

"And his middle pair of whisker markings are gone." the red Naruto observed.

"And his markings look exactly like mine do now." the blonde commented also studying his counterpart's face closely.

"And somehow I now have a gender. Demon's have no gender and yet I am most definitely male."

The red haired Naruto, who was the Kyuubi in a mostly human form, concluded with the first note of interest he'd had the entire conversation. The Kyuubi pulled at the waist band of his hospital shorts and looked in curiosity; the blonde Naruto reached over and slapped his hand.

"Get out of there! Idiot!" he said leaning back in his own bed.

"I'm sorry! It's just that this is really unusual for me!" the Kyuubi-Naruto said, finally showing his discomfort.

"Well, don't look at it! It's odd…" Naruto said fluffing his pillows in irritation before throwing himself onto them yet again as silence finally fell between them.

Tsunade was glad the verbal ping-pong match was over with; her neck hurt from constantly turning back and forth between the two of them.

"And other then that, you two have anything else to report?" Tsunade asked; she had a sneaking suspicion they weren't telling her everything. She expected that from the Kyuubi Naruto but not from Naruto himself.

Naruto looked at her from his position on his pillows, then he shot a glance at his almost twin, "Yeah, ever since he got his own version of me my healing rate is crap. Put him back, I hate being in hospitals, the food is bad and I can't have ramen while I'm in here. I think all the nurses have rallied against me and none of them will let me have any."

Tsunade made a mental note; Naruto's healing rate was greatly diminished since the separation. Kyuubi Naruto glared at the blonde Naruto, "You're healing rate is crap?" he gestured at the bandages that adorned his body, "These injuries are so menial! I shouldn't be licking my wounds still! If I had my old form these wounds would be nothing! Any trace would already be gone and the hair already grown back!" Kyuubi Naruto was shouting by now, breathing heavily. Tsunade made a mental note, the Kyuubi Naruto had limited powers in it's current form and emotionally distressed because of it. There was a possibility that he could become unstable.

Naruto let out a large yawn and turn on his side, his back facing his doppelganger, "Weren't you bigger then the Hokage monument though?"

Kyuubi Naruto opened his mouth to argue, gaped, shut it, then laid back down in his bed. "Shut up. I'm tired Kit."

"Uh huh, me too." Naruto murmured, half asleep already. Another mental note, the separation has left both Naruto's feeling drained. Feeling like there wasn't much reason to still be there she quietly excused herself and went to find a nurse to make sure Naruto got at least some ramen so he wouldn't try to run away from the hospital before he was done healing.

Naruto rolled back onto his back and folded his arms behind his head. "Should we have told her?"

'That we don't have to speak to communicate? No. they don't need to know we've been in contact for a few years now, they might take it the wrong way.' the Kyuubi thought.

Naruto nodded, 'Alright.' then he blinked and began to chuckle, 'What?' the Kyuubi asked an eyebrow raising on his face.

'You need a name.'

'You and your village have always called me the Kyuubi no Kitsune. I see no reason that you must give me yet another name. Names are so… human.'

'Nah! Too long. Besides, I don't think that that name will endear you to many people.' Naruto let out a sad sigh, 'No, you need a name.'

'Kit, just go to sleep, if you're half as tired as I am--' But the Kyuubi was interrupted.

'Do you like Kitsuke?'

"Kitsuke?" the Kyuubi Naruto repeated aloud.

'Well? Do you?' Naruto asked.

The demon considered this. 'namai ... kirai ja nai.' (very loosely translated: I don't hate the name.)

Naruto chuckled softly in his doze. 'Alright, we'll tell Tsunade in the morning. You're name is going to be Kitsuke. She can come up with a last name.'

'I won't be an Uzumaki?' the red haired Naruto asked in a confused tone.

Naruto shrugged, whether he was just trying to get more comfortable or not, neither knew. 'Do you want to be?' The Kyuubi considered this.

'Why not? I'm human now, well.. Mostly human anyways. The thought that I'm not alone is appealing to me.' the Kyuubi thought, more to himself then anything, staring out the window to avoid looking at Naruto directly, because he could feel that the boy had turned over and was staring at him.

"You'll be my brother? We'll be a family?" Naruto said out loud, his happy tears evident in his overjoyed whisper that broke into an awkward squeak.

The Kyuubi heaved a heavy sigh as he rolled over to look at Naruto. "Sure. But I'm going to tell everyone I'm older then you."

"What? Why?" Naruto whined out loud, the newly named Kitsuke just smiled and got out of his own bed, he patted the blonde on the head in a very older brother-ish way.

'Because I have existed for millennia before your great grandparents. That's why. I'm your older brother.' he thought, trying hard not to smirk.

Naruto let loose another gigantic yawn. 'good night Kitsuke-nii.' he sat back down and the sudden quiet in Kitsuke's mind told him that Naruto had finally fallen asleep.

It didn't occur to him at once but just as he was drifting off to sleep, Kitsuke realized that Naruto had given up the fight over who would be the older brother very easily. It suddenly dawned on him that Naruto most likely had wanted Kitsuke to defend the idea that he was the older brother.

That he was Naruto's older brother.

'Oh, well. It's not as though I don't see the appeal of not being alone in this mess either.' and soon Kitsuke also drifted off to sleep.

**

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End Chapter 1!

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**

Hmm. A bit short. But I like where this came from, and where it's going to go. KyuuSasuNaru!!!! That is the pairing! Well, triple, it can't really be a pair can it? Other then that ... Sasuke in the next chapter.

**_-evil grin-_**  
This'll be fun.  
Be afraid. Be very afraid.


	2. Blood Black Cherries

**Double, Double Naruto Trouble!  
****By: Shozetsku  
****Disclaimer/Warnings/Authoress Notes:  
**-Not mine, just an unhealthy obsession. And even then, I think it comes from one of my many mental voices. So, it's still not mine.  
-Yaoi coming soon, cursing, OOC-ness here, some use of romaji, and an over use of the meanings of people's names. (SOME-one has trouble with names)  
-This will be a slightly drawn out threesome. The rating is high right off the bat because of this.

* * *

This chapter is dedicated to **Illicit Memory** for guessing the answer to my lame joke!

* * *

**Chapter 2:** Blood Black Cherries

The next day neither Uzumaki woke up for the entire day. Short of throwing the two sleeping boys out the third story window, the nurses, doctors, cleaning crew, and even some of the patients had tried everything they could think of. Including but not limited to: smelling salts, shouting, pinching, etc. There was now a pretty hefty pot of cash for the person who could wake up these sleepy two. Alas, no one would be winning this money today. A report was handed to Tsunade stating the boys' reluctance to return to consciousness when there was a sharp official knock on her door.

After Tsunade gave her leave for whoever it was to enter her office she looked down at the folder and began to read. If the report were about anyone else it wouldn't have even reached her desk. But it was about Naruto, and the nine tailed fox, so it interested her greatly. There was more then one person that had entered her office, six ANBU escorted a bound Sasuke. Sasuke himself looked irritated but not surprised, he had after all, left the village to seek tutelage from someone who had killed the previous hokage.

"Thank you." Tsunade said, by way of dismissing the escort, but the ANBU didn't move. Tsunade raised a brow, "What's this? You think I can't handle my former teammate's protégé? Give me a bit more credit then that." the ANBU backed off to stand against the wall, they made it plain that they weren't leaving her alone with him without ever speaking a word.

"I want your testimony as an eye witness. What happened to Naruto?" Tsunade said folding her hands over the file as she spoke, not bothering to address the subject of the ANBU anymore.

Sasuke smirked, "You trust me? That's not particularly smart."

"You don't know what I'm looking for, what I know, or why I'm asking you. And besides, telling the truth can only help you. And for the record I don't trust you, at all." Tsunade said standing up from her desk, she gave him a stern look that would have sent braver ninja cowering; Sasuke merely stood still and stoic, Tsunade studied him.

Sasuke's face had paled, his complexion left much to be desired, however he was nowhere near as bad off as Sai, who was the very definition of rice paper. He was taller then she remembered, as he should have been for a boy of 15, nearly 16. His eyes, already hard from the trauma of his past and the hate of his brother, were even colder, like coal in the frigid tundra. Still in that ridiculous outfit he'd worn in Sound, Sasuke was yet another fashion victim of Orochimaru. _If there was one thing that was always off about that man, _Tsunade thought, _it was his taste in clothes. We'll need to get Sasuke into something that won't attract so much attention, or incite so much hate_.

"When we arrived there were the obvious signs of a high level battle having recently taken place." Sasuke said coolly, obviously deciding that it was in his best interest to cooperate. "Naruto's eyes were red with the Kyuubi's power, but he seemed unable to move. His head kept darting between Kisame, who was holding the rest of his team captive in water prisons, Sakura had already passed out from lack of oxygen; and Itachi whom he was obviously battling. But when he saw us his eyes went almost black and there was a sort of explosion of chakra.

"I don't know what happened, the burst of energy kicked up a lot of dust. But suddenly there was a red Naruto with his clawed hand sticking out of Orochimaru's back, his heart in his hand. I saw with my sharingan that he nodded his head at Itachi, as though telling me to have at it. I needed no further encouragement. Itachi was looking between the red Naruto and the blonde Naruto who was finishing off Kisame, when his head was turned towards the second Naruto I made my move, I drew my blade and thrusted it into Itachi's stomach. I broke his hands and waited for him to die."

"Your clan is avenged then?" Tsunade asked, but Sasuke shook his head. "For my clan to be truly avenged my brother would have had to suffer a lot more. But he is dead, and that is what I set out to accomplish, and that's enough for now."

Tsunade raised an eyebrow. "for now?"

"I'm going to find him in the after life and make him pay properly for all the things he's done. He won't get off so easily." Sasuke said calmly, though he was already annoyed with the whole conversation.

Tsunade paled, even though she knew that Sasuke never was all that stable to begin with, and that his instability was mostly directed towards his brother. He would need constant surveillance, a list of names for the job was already running through her head. Most of the names she discarded as soon as she thought of them. Sasuke was powerful and clever. But he wasn't really like Orochimaru, from what she heard he didn't kill when he could help it. His old friends might be her best bet. Naruto most of all, Tsunade rolled her eyes, what a perfect time for him to be unconscious and split in two!

And the warning signs of her "Naruto migraine" began to manifest themselves. Perfect. Exactly what she needed. "Thank you. Oh, and someone pick up some clothes for Sasuke, his seem to be a little dirty." She said, dismissing Sasuke; the last part she directed at the ANBU standing watch. In fact Sasuke's clothes were filthy, dirt and dust that had been kicked up by Naruto's 'explosion', his brother's blood, and Orochimaru's blood covered most of his ridiculous looking outfit.

Sasuke stopped in the doorway, "How is Naruto? I assume something's happened to him that you would have to ask about him."

"He's sleeping." was all Tsunade said in reply. Sasuke let the subject drop and allowed himself to be escorted back to his cell.

* * *

"I cannot **believe **those incompetent **fools**!" A raging Tsunade burst back into her office, one of the doors hanging off of it's hinges as a result of her frustration.

Shizune jumped and stammered, "T-Tsu-Tsunade-s-sama! What's wrong?" Tsunade threw a furious glare at Shizune, who recoiled. "Those utter fools! They want Sasuke reinstated as a ninja! They went over my head! Do they not get that Sasuke is highly dangerous? All they care about is more ninja with sharingan in the future! Well, I'm not letting Sasuke out of Konoha! Technically he's still a gennin. So he's going to stick to D and maybe C rank missions! If that! Sasuke the dog walker!"

Tsunade was just getting warmed up, but Shizune had something important to tell the Hokage and so she slammed the files in her hands onto the nearest desk. The resulting noise wrong footed Tsunade, who turned to look at her assistant. "Neither Uzumaki or the other one has woken up yet, Tsunade-sama. They're both completely healthy, but they just won't wake up."

"What?! It's been three days! Is there any brain activity?" Tsunade asked, her fury all but forgotten. But Shizune shook her head to dispel Tsunade's worries, "There's plenty of that, Naruto sometimes even mumbles in his sleep. They roll over, snore, you name it; they just won't wake up. There's actually a nice sum of money for the person who can do it."

Tsunade paced her office, occasionally asking for more specifics from Shizune. She went through theory after theory. Then, a thought struck her, "Maybe they just haven't found something worth waking up for."

Shizune looked at Tsunade expectantly, but she didn't elaborate. She did however turn on her heel and head out the doorway, sending the broken door to the ground with a crash. Tsunade knew exactly where she wanted to go, she climbed down several flights of stairs, past several guards and seals until she came to the room she wanted. Disregarding the protests of the guards she opened the door, gazing distastefully at the occupant sitting near the far wall, she stated quite clearly, "Follow me."

The occupant did so. Tsunade noted that he was wearing a simple yukata of a deep blue color and a black obi. Probably one of his own that they brought him. She escorted him to the hospital, ignoring the ANBU that were following them from a distance so to not alert the regular citizens.

She brought him to the hospital and escorted him to Naruto's room. If she was right... She backed away and gestured for him to open the door himself. Sasuke raised an eyebrow, "What's this all about?"

She smirked and said, "I'm just, testing a theory. If I'm right there could be... lucrative results."

"Whatever." Sasuke opened the door to Naruto and the Kitsuke's hospital room.

For a split second he saw Naruto lying in the bed farther away from the door and closer to the window and the Kitsuke lying in the bed closer to him. Naruto was curled in on himself, he was facing the door and using his left arm as a pillow. The Kyuubi was laying on his back, one leg hanging off the bed, and an arm thrown over his head onto the pillow. However, the next instant Kitsuke screamed, sat up bolt upright and started breathing heavily.

Almost immediately after Kitsuke, Naruto awoke with a similar reaction. Though he only gave a short shout of surprise, and rolled out of bed. Naruto rolled on the floor hissing and clutching his head.

"Itai-i! What the hell was that for Kitsuke?" Naruto gritted through his teeth, still laying on the floor.

Kitsuke gave no answer, he just sat there and breathed heavily, staring at Sasuke. Naruto sat up and heaved himself back into bed. Tsunade grinned and turned to the several nurses that had crowded around.

"I believe I won the pot for best method of waking them up." she said with a grin. The nurses scatter and run to tell the doctor who had the cash that the boys had been awoken.

"What -gasp- is that smell?" Naruto looked at Kitsuke, who looked quite shaken even as he spoke. Naruto sniffed the air and recognized the scent instantly.

"Sasuke."

Sasuke said nothing, but his mouth ever so slightly curved downwards, to the two boys it showed that he took offence to the implication that he smelled. Tsunade pushed Sasuke into the room so she herself could get in. She studied Naruto and the Kyuubi, they seemed fine, refreshed even, probably not even aware that they had done nothing but sleep for three days.

"What is that?" Kitsuke continued, sniffing the air, "I can't name it for the life of me." He sniffed harder, then let out a frustrated growl, not a demon growl, but a very human sounding "Arggh!"

"Blood Black Cherries." Naruto supplied tonelessly, staring down at his hands in his lap as he sat on his own bed.

Kitsuke whipped his head around to look at Naruto. All in all it was a strange thing to do, to look upon the boy who had been his unwanted vessel for, up until recently, the boy's whole life. The idea of a jinchuriki becoming separate from it's demon and living through it was thought to be impossible. But, the old demon reminded itself, they weren't really separate, there was still some Naruto in the Kyuubi and some of the Kyuubi was left in Naruto.

"Yes, that's it exactly. Blood Black Cherries. I don't know how on earth that makes sense but," Kitsuke sniffed the air again, "There are no better words for it. How did you know that?"

Naruto looked at Sasuke, he studied the other boy's face openly, scrutinizing every inch of it. Sasuke made no move nor appeared to be uncomfortable under the blonde's gaze, Naruto closed his eyes and breathed in, very slowly and said, "Because Sasuke has always smelled like that."

Tsunade spoke up, "Naruto, do you mean, blood red cherries, or black cherries covered in blood?" Tsunade assumed that the two boys on the beds meant the latter, which seemed the more appropriate choice.

Kitsuke answered, "Neither. He doesn't smell like red cherries, nor are the cherries covered in blood. That would be disgusting. It's hard to explain, it's black, but it's also red." He turned to Naruto, "ARE there even words to describe this?"

Naruto shrugged, "Nope, it took me forever and a day to figure out a good way of describing Sasuke's scent in the first place, I don't think I could describe it any better."

There was silence for a long while no one really had anything more to say and yet there were still things to be said. Then finally Sasuke spoke, "Naruto. Why are there two of you?"

Naruto looked at Kitsuke, who looked back at him, they shrugged at each other; Finally Naruto turned and said to Sasuke, "I think I wanted to do two things at once."

"And, I'm the result." Kitsuke finished, then he turned to Tsunade, "Hey Slug-Princess, we figured that since I'm not going anywhere for a while I needed a name. So for now until we can fix this it's Kitsuke Uzumaki. If you need a fake background or what not just say I'm the brother that was taken out of the village so I wouldn't suffer the same hatred Naruto does in the village. Humans should buy that."

Sasuke quirked an eyebrow at Kitsuke's use of the word 'humans' instead of 'people'. He had already noted Naruto's missing set of whisker markings. Naruto got up and slapped Kitsuke hard on the head, "You want to make it painstakingly obvious or are you just oblivious to the way you talk?"

Kitsuke rolled his eyes, "I can't believe you used a five syllable word on the right context. You have no right to talk to me about obliviousness to me. Besides, Sasuke is sharp, he'd of figured it out anyways."

"So, you're the fox demon." Sasuke said with only vague interest. "And Kitsuke is just Kitsune made into a boys name with a common ending." Kitsuke nodded, "Told you that he was sharp. Then again it doesn't take a genius to figure out you." He said throwing a pompous look at Naruto. Naruto glared.

"Well you certainly fight like you're twins." Tsunade remarked. "Are you two feeling fine? You slept for three days and I have a mission for you."

"THREE DAYS?" Naruto fell off the bed again and Kitsuke's eyes bugged out. Naruto clambered onto his hospital bed yet again moaning, "Itaiiii." Kitsuke rubbed the back of his head, "Mission? I assume it's only for Naruto then. I mean, I'm a threat to your village am I not? And furthermore I'm not a ninja, or human for that matter." Kitsuke hoped that this legendary healer would not correctly identify the strained look in his face for actual pain. He cursed loudly in his head.

'Kuso! It's one thing for you to share my reaction to Sasuke's scent while we're asleep, but it's another thing entirely for me to feel it when you hit your head, kitling!' He growled.

'Shut up!' Naruto snapped back, 'If either of them pick up on the fact that your rubbing your head because it actually hurts you we're going to have to go through ANOTHER insanely long and annoying interrogation.'

'Like I don't already know that. And remember to not let your thoughts show on your face they might figure it out.' Kitsuke thought, irritated.

Tsunade shook her head. "I need both of you." She said firmly. "The High Council members have saw fit to reinstate Sasuke Uchiha as a ninja." All three teenage boys stared at her, Naruto open mouthed and wide-eyed. "But I'm against this. In fact if it were my choice Sasuke would be put on trial to be executed. We don't need another Orochimaru, and Sasuke has already betrayed Konoha once."

They all stared at her, Sasuke's eyes hardening at the mention of his possible execution, as if he would stand idly by and let himself be killed. But at least he knew Tsunade's opinion of him now. "But they've gone over my head on the matter, my hands are tied." She continued, "But that does not mean that I'm willing to release you into Konoha without an escort. I will not take any chances with the lives of my village's people. Naruto, Kitsuke, I want you two to be part of Sasuke's guard. For purposes of appearance we'll call it a four man team but I want you two to be ever vigilant, Sasuke didn't spend nearly three years with Orochimaru and come back unchanged and unscathed." She eyed the spot in Sasuke's neck that bore the curse seal. "Well not much more unscathed then when he left." She amended.

"And the last member of our so called 'team'?" Kitsuke said, more bitingly then the tone Naruto had thought it in. He wanted little part of this after his reaction to Sasuke's scent but he knew the train of thought in the woman's head; the Kyuubi will protect Naruto to preserve it's own life. This was true enough but it was always more complicated then that. Especially if it involved Naruto Uzumaki.

It was true enough that he shared in Naruto's memories and had a copy of Naruto's body, there was a certain amount of automated reflexes like dodging and retaliating that he wouldn't even have to think about if it came to a fight. And he had his Kyuubi's chakra, well most of it. And he knew more or less how to fight from watching Naruto. But he and Naruto had just become to entities, something that had never happened before without the Jinchuuriki dying. Naruto would protect Kitsuke or he would die. And Kitsuke would do the same. 'How human I've become. Protecting something that is not my young.' Naruto threw a small glance at Kitsuke before turning his gaze back to Tsunade, there had been something that he was sure the Kyuubi was hiding from him, but he wasn't certain what it was.

"That's the small detail. I would prefer it to be an old face, in case Sasuke has some humanity left in him after being holed up with Orochimaru for so long. I'll let you choose that." She said looking at Naruto, Naruto's eyes widened and he blinked. He and Sasuke locked eyes and at Sasuke's glare told him novels about how he didn't like the situation.

End chapter 2

Pick who you want to be the last member of the team! I can't choose either.

Shino and Kiba are strong to be sure but they're mainly trackers, and while if Sasuke escapes they'll be able to track him down IF Sasuke rebels I have my doubts if they'll hold up. Same with Hinata.

Ino isn't strong enough and I don't like her character too much. She seems superfluous to me mostly. Chouji isn't a good match for Sasuke because he's just not fast enough. Shikamaru would be useful...

Lee... is Lee. There are no other words to describe Lee accurately. Lee might be fun... Neji is fast strong and also good at tracking. Another possibility. Tenten... is also a superfluous character I my opinion. But unlike Ino I don't dislike her.

Sakura might also be a good choice... if she's over her Sasuke obsession. But then again if not that would add to the drama... this isn't just going to be a nice succinct three shot is it? Kakashi would also be very useful but he's a highly skilled jounin and former ANBU. He's too strong to be tied down to Sasuke all the time... or he could be a good choice...

That leaves Sai. While Sai is clever and fast his greatest weapon is a paintbrush. He's the type that hides out and needs at least a few seconds of prep time. Not a good thing when fighting a person like Sasuke.

I've been thinking about this too much. Can you tell? If you read all of this please take it into account when voting for the final member for the team. It should make sense, another one of the sensei's might be an option too...

VOTE PLEASE! The one with the most votes at the next chapter post will be the winner. ... Obviously.


	3. Revelations and Complications

**Double, Double Naruto Trouble!  
By: Shozetsku  
Disclaimer/Warnings/Authoress Notes:  
**-Not mine, just an unhealthy obsession. And even then, I think it comes from one of my many mental voices. So, it's still not mine.**  
**-Yaoi coming soon, cursing, OOC-ness here, some use of romaji, and an over use of the meanings of people's names. (SOME-one has trouble with names)  
-this will be a slightly drawn out threesome.

_**

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**_

Spoilers for manga chapter 367!

* * *

The voting is as follows:

in first place with 10 votes:  
NEJI

in second place with 8 votes:  
SAKURA

in third place with 7 votes:  
SHIKAMARU & KAKASHI

in fourth place with 6 votes:  
SAI & LEE

in fifth place with 2 votes:  
SHINO & KIBA

**Neji pulled into the lead, though at first it looked like Sakura would win. So when Neji first tied with Sakura I decided to write two versions, but now that he's pulled ahead Neji wins!**

**Chapter 3:** Revelations and Complications

Naruto and Kitsuke looked at each other. 'Well? Who do you think?' Naruto asked trying very hard to keep his face from reflecting his inner dialogue. Kitsuke mentally raised an eyebrow. 'Let me tell you something. I don't know your human friend's names. But I will tell you who I will NOT work with. I will not work with that strange green thing with the abnormal face. And the green thing's friend, that girly male? He's fast, strong, and he's good at tracking, but he has such an attitude so I'd rather not. And as for the girl, I don't think she could keep up.'

'You're harsh you know that right? And their names are Lee, Neji, and Ten-ten.' Mentally scowling while fighting soo hard to not let it show on his face. 'What about Shikamaru?'

'Look, I DO. NOT. CARE. About your human names. It's all just confusing anyways. And which one are you talking about? The fat one?'

Naruto sighed and wanted dearly to roll his eyes, 'His friend, you know, the one that watches clouds?' 'That one? True he'd be useful in a pinch and he'd be convenient if we needed Sasuke stopped in his tracks long enough to be knocked out. But does he really know Sasuke all that well? And besides he's condescending, and that'll annoy me after a while.'

'What? Is there some thing wrong with ALL of my friends?' Naruto asked incredulously, Kitsuke's snappy reply was, 'They're friends with you aren't they? Oh, and before you even mention them, the other two on the cloud-watcher's team? NO. I hate the blonde so much, there's something about her voice…'

'What has been done now that we've released you into the world?' Naruto asked in horrified awe.

'And the stuttering girl? She likes you, so she'll be a distraction. Dogs and foxes don't mix, and the silent one is … odd.'

'so that's a no on anyone from Gai's, Asuma's, or Kurenai's team.' Anyone else you have issues with? What about Kakashi-sensei?' Naruto asked getting annoyed with his doppelganger.

'I'm not done with my list of no's. Now, the pale boy, the freaky one?'

'Sai?'

'Yeah, that's the one, the one that's always questioning your gender. Yeah, he's also a no.'

'Well, he doesn't really have that much of a bond with Sasuke to begin with so... yeah. So who will you work with? Sakura-chan? Kakashi-sensei?'

'The mop-head is...' the Kyuubi paused and Naruto felt his confusion as he searched for the right word. 'How to put this... needed? He should be out on missions, staying tied to Sasuke is just going to be bad in general later.'

'Not asking. You won't tell anyways. So, then Sakura-chan?' Naruto asked, getting impatient. 'She does have the strongest bond, and a medical ninja would be useful considering how shitty our healing rate is right now. But I don't like her pheromones lately. They used to only get really bad around Sasuke. If she starts liking you too then it'll get bad for the blushing girl. Personally I'm rooting for the blushing girl because she's liked you for so long, you're just so DENSE about it.'

'What's wrong with Sakura-chan's pheromones? Wait a minute, do you mean Hinata? Is Hinata the blushing girl? Hinata LIKES me? For how long? Ahh, shit!'

'Later, before your face gives us away kit.' Naruto fought to shove aside the subject of Hinata for the moment, 'So you don't like anyone at all?'

'No.'

'You were pretty complimentary to Shikamaru, Sakura-chan, Kakashi-sensei, and Neji.'

'No, on the cloud boy, the girl and your sensei; the girly male it is then.'

'We have a decision?'

'We have a lack of options.'

'Jerk.'

'Juvenile.'

'Let's just get this over with.'

'Whatever.'

The two boy's turned away from each other and looked straight at Tsunade, and just to creep her out they said in the exact same voice, "Neji."

It worked, she was vaguely creeped out. In truth their internal conversation, or argument, depending on how you looked at it hadn't taken very long; though it seemed to both Sasuke and Tsunade that Naruto and Kitsuke were taking the twins act a bit too seriously.

Tsunade was about to have Neji report to the hospital room as well, but Naruto's and Kitsuke's stomachs began to make themselves heard. Naruto whined, "I need ramen." And Kitsuke got a far off look in his eyes, "I wanna try ramen."

"You're already acting like family, sheesh, don't take this cover story so seriously." Tsunade said folding her hands agitatedly, "And don't forget, tomorrow is the start of you're new mission. You have till then to fill in Neji as much as you see fit. Remember, you're not discharged from the hospital yet, but go get your ramen; I'll send Neji to Ichiraku's. Sasuke," she turned to face him, "I'll be escorting you back, after you."

Sasuke nodded mutely and left the room. Kitsuke rubbed his stomach idly, "Argh, will I even be able to hold anything down with my stomach doing this?"

Kitsuke turned to Naruto for reassurance but Naruto only grinned evilly at the awkward feeling that was originating from Kitsuke's stomach, "Kitsuke. Do you know what it means when your stomach does that?"

Kitsuke rummaged through Naruto's thoughts, 'Desire? I like someone?' The Kyuubi reeled as he tried to digest this information. "How is that even possible?" but Naruto shrugged, "I dunno, you have a gender, so I suppose you also have hormones now. And they're really going. Who are they for though?"

'Who woke us up?' Kitsuke asked in a defeated voice.

Naruto stopped in his tracks. "No. NO! You can't! That is COMPLETELY not fair, Kitsuke!" he stopped himself and made sure that the next part he thought in stead of spoke aloud. 'Why on earth are you gay? Come on! I'm gonna end up bi by the end of the week if you're half as horny as shukaku was supposed to be. Gaara told me about shukaku, a total blood-thirsty horn-dog. I'll be hard gay too by the end of the month.'

They had arrived at the ramen shop, had sat down but were still talking so intensely that they didn't even notice what they were doing.

"I have to deal with this for a MONTH?! Please tell me that by then Tsunade will have found a solution for this!"

"She'll have to figure out what happened first. Then she'll have to come up with a buncha possible solutions figure out the side effects and then the risks, then pick out of those what we can handle, then we have to choose, and then it has to be done. All of that has to be done in between her duties as the Hokage."

"I'm gonna die." Kitsuke said in a low defeated voice, "The world has no meaning. I'm so depressed that I don't even know what to do with myself." Naruto felt the gloom from Kitsuke and shivered, "Oi! Ayame-chan, we need to rekindle my brother's will to live! Two bowls of your beautiful ramen! And keep them coming!"

"Oh! Naruto, you never told me you had a brother." Ayame said happily as she placed two bowls of ramen in front of them, "The first round's on the house to celebrate your brother's first visit. Hopefully one of many."

Kitsuke took a pair of chopsticks and took a first bite of ramen, halfway through the noodles his expression changed to one of happy excitement as he began to eat more. They were on their second bowl of ramen each when Naruto and Kitsuke caught each other's eye.

'I challenge you! No way, you can eat more ramen then me!' Naruto thought, his mouth too full of ramen.

'You're on kit.' And so it began.

"Naruto?" Neji had entered Ichiraku's ramen stand and he stumbled back at the sight of the two Naruto's.

He activated his byakugan immediately, and saw that this person almost had Naruto's exact chakra signature, even if Naruto's signature was somehow different now. Suspicious and curious, he sat down on the other side of the blond Naruto and ordered a bowl of pork ramen. He fought down his overly paranoid instincts, Tsunade had given him enough of the situation that what he saw made sense still. Maybe.

"Tsunade says you and I have been assigned to guard Sasuke." He said as conversationally as he could.

Naruto swallowed the mouthful of noodles he had before answering, "And Nii-san too."

Neji blinked, "Nii-san? Who is Nii-san?"

Naruto shot Kitsuke a look, 'Introduce yourself, you jerk.'

Kitsuke swallowed the last of his noodles with an appreciative sigh, "Ahh. Yo, name's Kitsuke." Naruto smacked a hand to his forehead. 'You are a jerk.'

'You didn't tell me I had to be polite, and anyways this stuff is really good.' Kitsuke retorted, already back to slurping noodles.

"Kitsuke-nii..." Naruto said trailing off. Neji blinked, "Naruto, is this guy your real brother?" Naruto paused but nodded, and Kitsuke shot him a look, 'You're not going to be honest with the boy?' he asked with only the barest pause in his consumption of noodles.

'I'm not talking about this in front of the old man and Ayame-chan or in such a public place. If the rest of the Akatsuki got wind of us.' Naruto left the thought at that. They both shivered at the same time.

Neji saw the simultaneous shiver but disregarded it for now. "Where has he been all this time?" he asked, this time Naruto picked his chopsticks back up and Kitsuke stopped to answer Neji.

"Even though Dad wanted Lil' Naruto here to be treated like a hero of the village he was practical, or maybe it was Sandaime who did it." Kitsuke ruffled Naruto's spiky hair here and Naruto elbowed his arm away, grinning. "But we were separated at birth regardless, I was taken away and raised in a small village where I had private tutoring in the shinobi way. I've been trying to master some of Dad's old techniques but Mom's are easier for me."

Naruto choked on his noodles and started coughing; Kitsuke thumped him hard on the back, "Easy there."

"YOU KNOW ABOUT MOM AND DAD?!" Naruto asked incredulous, 'You really know about my birth parents? You're not making shit up?'

"Sure I know about Mom and Dad. It's one of those things we really need to talk about actually." Neji activated his byakugan again; Kitsuke wasn't lying, or he wasn't giving any biological tells that he was.

* * *

spoilers start here

_this doesn't hold truely necessary information so if you want to skip it you can_

* * *

"See, you're going by Mom's last name. Her maiden name. Dad's last name was Namikaze." Kitsuke placed a hand on Naruto's shoulder supportively, 'I'm not lying kit.'

"My, my Dad... Minato Namikaze...the fourth hokage... wait, than what was Mom's name?" Naruto asked trying to filter through the shock and digest this information, "Kushina. I got her hair color, you got Dad's obviously. Other then that from what I can tell, we're the spitting image of Dad."

"I'm SOO going to be Hokage! It's in my blood! Rokudaime Naruto Uzumaki! 'Cause I'm too used to being called that. And anyways, it'll be for Mom from now on." Naruto had jumped out of his seat shouting, but by the time he was done speaking his voice was quiet, he sat down again.

"Another round of ramen. On me." Neji said, stunned, and trying to wrap his head around this information as well. "I-It's on the house!" the old man said, positively beaming at Naruto and Kitsuke, "It's an honor to have served the sons of the fourth Hokage!"

"Free Ramen! I totally love you Dad!" Naruto punched the air and prepared to dig in, but he put two fingers to his lips, "Dad, Mom, bro; you know it's funny, I've never had a family, and then all at once I'm bombarded with it. A brother I never knew I had, my parents names, it's no wonder I could never find them on that stone of ninja who died on missions, because I'm using mom's last name. I've read over the fourth's name dozens of times right next to the name Kushina Namikaze. I never realized; I just thought that he had a sister or something. All this time... it was Mom and Dad."

* * *

spoilers end here

* * *

"You obviously have a lot to discuss." Ayame said, pushing her father into the kitchen, "we'll give you some space." 

"I'll leave as well," Neji said, standing up to leave. But Naruto caught his sleeve.

"Stay." Neji heard the silent 'Please.' that was in his voice as clearly as Kitsuke heard it in his mind. "Alright Naruto." And he sat back down.

There was silence for a long time, broken only by the slurping of noodles and the noises of the street behind them.

"What were you told from Baa-chan?" Naruto asked between mouthfuls of ramen. Neji looked at him, "Not much, that we're going to be guarding Sasuke and that I'm going to be leading the mission, and that's the weird part, I have almost no information and I'm supposed to be in charge."

'She's leaving it to us on how much he needs to be informed, trusting old bat isn't she? You're hokage.' Kitsuke thought, not pausing in his ramen intake. 'Be nice, she could have had you and Sasuke confined right off the bat and you'd never have tasted the bliss that is ramen.' Naruto warned.

"That's because it's a bit more delicate then that." Naruto said dropping his voice and his playful attitude. "Like I said, Kitsuke-nii is going to be helping us; we're going to go around under the guise that we're a regular four man cell. But there is a lot heavier stuff behind this then just that. I'll fill you in somewhere more private."

"Meaning this mission is a headache waiting to happen." Neji said, turning to his own ramen mournfully.

"Pretty much." Kitsuke said with a simple nod of his head.

'What the hell? Do you have absolutely NO tact at all?' Naruto shouted in his mind scrunching his nose as he chewing his noodles

'Don't fault me for not having what you lack.' Kitsuke retorted easily. Naruto glared at him, noodles dangling from his mouth, 'You're getting really annoying really fast you know.' He slurped up the noodles in his mouth.

Naruto heard highly amused laughter in his head; it didn't improve his mood.

* * *

Sasuke sat in the extremely Spartan cell he'd been placed in. they were underground, surrounded by thick stone and there were two contingents of ANBU outside the heavy door he stared at. All of which was highly unnecessary in his opinion, Orochimaru was dead, he'd killed Itachi and as far as he cared nothing much else mattered. He known, and expected that this would be his reception back to the village after all this business was over with. He'd planned on killing Orochimaru himself once the old snake bastard reached his period of weakness, but Itachi had surfaced first, tailing Naruto again. 

Itachi had been after Naruto the last time he'd been face to face with his older brother as well. What made Naruto so special? The question had burned in his mind when he had been twelve years old. If he'd known about the Kyuubi no Kitsune sealed within his blonde teammate he probably wouldn't have taken his brothers reaction out on Naruto so harshly. As history stood, he'd hated Naruto for stealing his brother's attention, accentuating the fact that he was nothing that Itachi needed to pay attention to. He'd hated the fact that even now his brother treated him like nothing, and yet, the village nothing he'd treated importantly. The hatred was accentuated by the fact that he was scared that Naruto was surpassing him. The town nothing surpassing him, the genius of his age group!

Yeah, it had pissed him off.

Down in that dark cell he did some soul searching; not looking into his heart and seeing what he felt, but looking within himself and trying to figure out if he still _had_ a soul. It bothered him, that to get where he was had been his dearest ambition since about seven. He did feel a huge sense of closure now that itachi was dead and his clan was avenged, but what did he have left after that? It sucked. It really sucked. Even after he'd killed his brother like he was supposed to Itachi was still probably laughing up at him from the deepest pits of hell, because he'd been strung along like his brother had intended. That after all of Sasuke's efforts, as much as it pained him to admit it even only to himself, his revenge left him empty and exhausted after only the briefest sensation of triumphant victory.

Unbidden from his old memories of being a naïve genin of konoha, Sasuke saw Naruto, Naruto in his old orange jumpsuit flashing the 'V for victory' sign, with his million dollar grin. It brought a single chuckle up from the depths of himself, and Sasuke blinked, his furrowed brow unknitting. He hadn't even remembered frowning in the first place. Chuckling was good right?

Maybe having Naruto babysit him till he was trusted again wouldn't be such a bad idea. If he spent time with the blonde, whom he'd had the strongest bond with before he'd left, maybe he could recover his humanity again. What else was left to him now that he was no longer a tool for revenge?

He felt useless, and uselessness pained him.

He wanted to do something, anything, to keep from that uselessness, he needed a purpose. And for now self realization was a good enough purpose for him. After all, if he didn't rediscover who he was, he couldn't find himself a true purpose could he?

* * *

Neji blinked his white eyes at the blonde and red head before him. "And that's the whole story?" 

Naruto nodded vehemently, "And what's more it's the truth." Naruto turned to Kitsuke, who was starting to get in his nerves, the fox demon was looking into Neji's eyes with a placid expression, when in the back of his mind he was complaining about all of the Hyuuga's creepy eyes and how ironic it was that with eyes of that color they should all be blind and yet they saw better then he did.

'It's an insult to the station of spirits as balancers of the world. We are supposed to be the powerful ones that have powers unrivaled, and yet my eyes are outdone by the whelp sitting in front of us. I ask you, what is this world coming to? Because if it keeps going the way it's going I'll have to graciously duck out of history in a few centuries. I don't like it, it bothers me. We should have gone for the mop head or the female... gah, but the mop-head is needed and I hate the female. And the cloudy one is not strong enough to deal with Sasuke should something happen.

'We've already told the white eyed whelp everything so we're stuck with him I guess.' Kitsuke continued to muse, 'I really hate this situation, that Tsunade woman is a horrible gambler, but she'd make an excellent lawyer, here I am, trapped into a situation, I'm pretty sure I didn't knowingly agree to, feeling preemptive guilt at the thought of ducking out, and on top of that if I don't do it then everything will go to shit...' Kitsuke broke off, he retreated farther into his own mind. He was hiding something from Naruto, they both knew it, but now wasn't the time for that.

But...

When would be a good time to deal with it?

Naruto shook his head mentally, now was not the time for thoughts like that. "You've been awful quiet for a while Kitsuke-nii, do you have anything to add?" Naruto said, with a bit of an edge to his voice. 'What is WITH you?! I've been trying to concentrate on telling Neji what the hell's going on and you're going on an all out mental rant! This is hard enough you know!'

Kitsuke shook his head, "We should get home, and we've got a long day ahead of us." Naruto frowned but nodded.

* * *

Naruto shut the door to his, now their, apartment. "You're really uncomfortable, ne?" Naruto asked softly. 

Kitsuke turned, he felt the unsaid implications of that statement. "Yeah, that reaction your fan caused never really did go all the way away."

Naruto blushed but nodded. "I'm not gonna have any part in this, but I'm going to tell you two things so you can take care of it yourself. Kage bunshin and henge." Naruto blushed harder as he walked to the kitchen, he searched his drawers for the cold medication Iruka sensei had bought him not long ago. In truth Naruto was never in any need of the stuff but he accepted it anyways from his old sensei for the mans piece of mind.

Popping two cold pills that were sure to knock him out for a solid eight hours Naruto went to bed hoping that it would be enough that he would not have to experience what his doppelganger was bound to do.

* * *

Kitsuke wandered around the apartment until he felt that Naruto was asleep. He groaned, "This is so fucking embarrassing! I can't believe that I, the Kyuubi no Kitsune, is reduced to self gratification! Were I still in my demon form I wouldn't even have this problem! How I hate hormones!" 

**End Chapter 3!**

I don't feel like writing this scene. I really don't. I'm in the middle of finals and had I not gotten a review that asked me where the hell this fic's next update was I would have waited until AFTER finals to post.

As it is I really should be studying. Damnit.

Umm, there were a few of you that asked for a foursome. Let me say this now. If I EVER write a foursome it will never see EVER. Besides that point, this is a threesome not a foursome.

Next chapter the tension begins! _AFTER FINALS!!!!!!_


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